In my recent blog titled Finding My Integrated Self - Part One: A Doctor Mom’s Answer to Work-Life Balance” I discussed my path to opening an independent specialty medical practice in a challenging healthcare environment. In Part Two, I’d like to share a pleasant surprise that has helped me weather the bumps and bruises of this new and ever-changing endeavor. For all the planning one can do in starting a business, you can’t map out a perfect journey. There will be setbacks and they often have very bad timing. Thankfully, in my story the good surprises outweigh the bad ones. The best surprise so far? The Doctor-Patient Relationship is alive and well.
When I stepped out of my employed physician role to be a stay-at-home Mom, there were a lot of immediate perks. It was great to have quiet time with my kids and husband where I wasn’t watching the clock. I didn’t miss the paperwork, the politics, or the hassles of juggling meetings and clinic with my husband and kids’ even busier schedules. However, there was also a sense of loss: the loss of my patients and my co-workers. I had had three months to say goodbye to my patients at my former practice. Some of my goodbyes were said in person; the rest of those goodbyes had to happen through one-way communication in a fairly generic letter sent by my former employer.
As I now re-entered the working world as an independent physician, I wondered “Where do those relationships stand?” The media says that the Doctor-Patient relationship is at a crossroads. Others say that it never truly existed. I am the first to admit that I underestimated the strength of the Doctor-Patient Relationship. I can now enthusiastically say it is alive and well. Some of the greatest physicians I know figured that out long ago. They tell you that it always helps them ride out the changes that inevitably happen in healthcare every so many years. It took me reentering medical practice to truly see and feel the strength of that relationship.
When a former patient returns to me now, it is like seeing an old friend. The warm smile, the hugs. Granted there is sometimes also an awkwardness as we acknowledge the gap in time and the life changes we haven’t kept up on, but that is quickly followed up by the relief to have that familiarity with the past and the shared desire to get back on track. The conversations I have had with returning patients have been nothing short of beautiful. They tell me how my departure affected them and how happy they were to hear that I was back in practice. They are proud to tell me how they have kept their weight off…or sheepish to admit they let it creep back on and need motivation again. They are even relieved to have me nagging at them to quit smoking…yet again…because they know I really cared about them getting healthier and I would celebrate with them when they succeeded. There is a mutual appreciation of all we accomplished in the past and trust and optimism in taking on all we still have left to do.
The bonds that humans form, whether of a professional or personal nature, are what make us unique. The personal rewards that come from caring for others will help healthcare afloat through all the current changes. Those bonds are why I needed to find a way to integrate this amazing Doctor career with my equally amazing Mom career. Those human bonds are also why our patients won’t fully replace us with “Dr. Google”.
I am not more remarkable than any other healthcare provider. My recent experiences simply are evidence of the beauty of the relationships that this type of career helps us create. All healthcare providers have the opportunity and blessing of creating those bonds, of connecting.
And it is why when students shadow me today and ask if I would go into medicine again, I always say yes. It is demanding, stressful, unpredictable…but it is a dream job.